Expect the Obvious

It's commonly said that we should "expect the unexpected."  That's incredibly silly.  If we live our lives expecting the unexpected to happen, we'll be let down often.  I believe that we should instead expect the obvious but be prepared for the unexpected because, it's true, sometimes, things don't happen the way we think they will, but, more often than not, they do.

I'm all about constructing truths from things that I observe.  To call them "truths" is somewhat deceptive because they sometimes prove false, but we serve the the majority here in the U S of A, so they're truths.  The truth that comes from this idea of expecting the obvious is that unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment.  I like to think of myself as a realist, but, looking back, I've decided that, often times, I've been more of an idealist.  I blame this on the fact that all my life I've been very lucky.  I applied to one Middle School program, one High School Academy, one college, and two jobs and haven't been rejected.  I wish that I could say "I'm just so awesome that no one can say no to me," but that's not true.  The High School Academy I applied to was a Creative and Performing Arts Academy; how many boys do you think applied?  If you're a male and have a beating heart, it would be difficult for them to refuse you.  Both of the jobs I've been offered were probably because of my connections; my brother is a personal friend of the Chick-Fil-A manager who hired me, and my good friend's step mother is the owner of the establishment at which I'm employed when I come home in the summers.  Most of my "success" can be attributed to the graciousness of others.  All of that to say: I've been very spoiled, and I believe that this has led to a rose-colored glasses sort of perspective that is both comfortable and dangerous to have.

In areas of my life aside from academics and the job market, I've still been lucky, but I've also been let down because of my unrealistic expectations, so, lately, I'm starting to see the world as it is.  Kind of.  I'm starting to realize that not everything gets handed to you on a silver platter, and I'm starting to learn that Daddy's money won't always put food in my mouth and a roof over my head.  I'm starting to discover that, soon, I'll have to depend on myself to make it in this world.  Of course, that's not true at all.  I'll be leaning completely on God, but if I just sit back, put up my feet, and say "please," I have a feeling God won't hand me good grades and a career worth pursuing.  Which leads me to the idea that there are two sides to this coin: you can't simply adjust your expectations, you have to adjust your actions as well.  So, yes, I've come to expect the world to disappoint, but I'm also trying to operate in a way that will ensure success despite disappointment.  The world doesn't revolve around any one person, and if I go through life thinking that things will always go my way, then I'm bound to end up discouraged.  Long story short, keep your expectations low, but your standards high-- don't "strive for consistent mediocrity" as my friend's Calculus teacher once told her class they should; strive to be outstanding all of the time.

From those who haven't had it their way, I've learned that happiness and satisfaction don't depend on the circumstances you're in but on the way you handle them.  This is an idea that occurs again and again in the Bible.  In Philippians 3, Paul writes "But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.  Yea, doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus, my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, and be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death."  Paul mentions the things that were gain to him, probably referring to his laundry list of qualifications as a would-be super Christian (if there was such a thing) that preceded this passage, but he also mentioned suffering the loss of all things, and counting those things as nothing.  I realize that, were this a formal paper, I would probably get marked down for straying from my thesis in this paragraph, but this is important enough to mention.  Despite whether your expectations are realistic, the circumstances that you find yourself in will not be of your choosing, but contentedness doesn't come from comfort; it comes from God.

I choose to keep my expectations of this life low because we live in a fallen world, but, ultimately, I anticipate that Christ will come and take me home to heaven.  Some of you might think that this conflicts with what I've been saying for the last eight hundred words, but some of you would be wrong.  Given that this is the most realistic expectation one could have, a promise from the God of the universe to his children, I have no fear of disappointment.

I know I've thrown this out to a much grander scale than you might have expected, but this truth doesn't only apply to the big things in (and after) life.  Just the other day, I was walking back to my dorm after class, thinking about this blog post.  It was in the twenties, and the wind was blowing.  To get into the buildings here at the college, you have to use your magic swipey card.  As I approached the path that leads to Gooch Hall, I thought "maybe someone will be in the lounge, so I won't have to take my hands out of my pockets and get my wallet out of my backpack."  Then, I realized that this was an unrealistic expectation that would likely lead to disappointment, so I pulled my hands from my warm pockets, un-shouldered my backpack, and took out my wallet before I reached the door.  In so doing, I saved myself time and discomfort: no one was in the lounge-- no one is ever in the lounge.  Of course, this is just one example, but I'm sure you can think of many other scenarios that fit this same mold.

So take off your rose-colored glasses and see the world for what it is; I promise that the rewards of saving yourself disappointment will outweigh the comfort that comes from resting in unrealistic expectations.